Wednesday, July 5, 2017


That's what I feel like I should do to this entire past week.  It's been a pretty demoralizing disaster, which makes me FEEL like all the work done before equates to NOTHING.  But I don't think that can actually be true.  I HOPE that can't actually be true.  It was the 4th of July Weekend, we went quickly from OVERKILL on workouts the week before to UNDERKILL, giving up on my scheduled plan, attempts at healthy eating, etc.  The last workout with Nick was busy with people, and we didn't even get to snatches/overhead squats--the thing which should be my priority.  I did a couple cross-fit workouts at integration which went fine, but I'm totally unexceptional at (sorry for ending that sentence and this one with "at").  My GG partner was there and it's still awkward, and she got a PR on split jerk--170lbs I think.  I did 155 poorly.  Awesome.  That made me crabby all day, as I stuffed my face.  Monday I did the workout, and was thinking it was going pretty well with a number of 135lb cleans--a weight that's challenging for me.  Tyler came over and tried to fix my clean, which apparently is not improving at all.  I have a MAJOR BLOCK WITH ALL LIFTS that I CAN'T GET OVER apparently.  I DON'T extend my hips, and it's like I CAN'T.  I just smack the bar into the crease when I try, and it doesn't help me move it up.  I felt embarrassed because my form sucks so bad and I hate that.  Not that he wasn't nice--he kept saying, "You're SO STRONG," which is code for "how in the world can you even get THAT weight up with such sucky technique?" 

Monday night I skipped the swim I was gonna do. Tuesday, July 4th, I ate crap all day long and didn't work out.  That brings us to the present.  Today I DID swim, thank goodness.  It's exactly one month to the Triathlon.  Today also happens to be the day the team workouts are released (7pm), so I get to look forward to finding out JUST how much of a deficit I'm going to cause my Crossfit team.  Nick is waiting to plan my month based on these qualifiers.  Siiiiiiigggggggh.  I just feel so out-of-control and demoralized.  The optimism of the first week has disappeared with the conclusion of the month, and the feeling of minimal improvement. 

At the least I have been biking a lot for the tri, and swimming a few times also.  So my lifts still suck?  I'll just horse it up to the best of my ability like always, and then people will always hold hope for my potential ("Wow!  Think how good she would be if she fixed her technique!").  Good.  Even if that potential is never realized.

Be back sometime after the qualifier workout *eeeek.*  That'll be great when THAT'S in the past.  :D

No comments:

Post a Comment